A few days ago, a very beautiful friend of mine had me thinking about a question she was deeply pondering about, “How do I know he’s the one?”
That’s actually a tricky question for me. Sometimes I wish we can all just take a little peek in the future and try to see if this guy is the one we’re orchestrated to be with for the rest of our lives. Then maybe things could be a lot easier–no more heart aches, no more I-made-a-wrong-decision call and all that jazz.
But of course,life doesn’t work that way (and I don’t think God will let us anyway). He wants us to stay human and be dependent on Him every time we ask, “Is he the one?”
Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us clueless and astray. He has given us the wisdom through His Word to know the answer to that one-million dollar question (no, you don’t get a million). He says in Jeremiah 33:3
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (NIV)
I read from somewhere that reality is you are never really going to know if “he’s the one”. Sometimes we have this notion that some sort of mystical phenomenon has to occur in order to confirm. Like for instance, as you were asking if suitor John is the one, you suddenly see John Lloyd Cruz come out on TV. Wow, how timely. You shout, “Confirmed!” Well, that actually sounds fun but I think we’re going to have to do better than that.
I’d just like to share few things I learned. These may not provide me the exact answer but at least they guide me to making the right choices.
1. Remembering the 3 R’s.
I picked this one just recently from our church’s singles’ event Date Talk last 14th of February. Pastor August and his wife shared about reality, revelation and romance.
Reality- is he ready financially? Emotionally? Mentally? Spiritually? Does he have a direction? Plans?
Revelation- this one is going to come from God. I’m not saying it’s going to be like angel Gabriel appearing to Mary (or it can be, I don’t know). As you seek Him daily through prayer and Bible reading, you get to receive revelations from Him.
Romance- this is about the connection, the chemistry, and the sparks flying between you and the guy.
2. Checking the standards list (and checking it twice).
Truthfully, I didn’t have specific standards before. If I like the guy then there’s no going over a list anymore. But setting standards has taught me to value my worth and kept me away from jumping into relationships fast. It’s divided into 2 categories—the non-negotiable and negotiable.
Non-negotiable: things I can never bargain with (e.g. he must be a godly man)
Negotiable: things I can adjust, change, or eliminate as necessary depending on the circumstance.
3. Assuring that my heart is at peace.
Colossians 3:15 says to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” If you do not have peace about the person you are thinking of, you need to declare them out. Moments of strife is the Holy Spirit trying to tell you that your heart is not safe with this person. If you do not have peace, then something is not right. When the right person enters your life, your peace will remain. When the wrong person enters, your peace will leave.
4. Praying about it.
Never underestimate the power of praying. I cannot even begin to emphasize how extremely important this part is. Pray, pray, pray about everything as it says in Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. (NET)”
But you know what, after everything I have just written, I’m actually confident to say that I have found my one true love. His name is Jesus and He’s the one!
The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to the foot of a tree in which a naked and bloody man hangs and says, “This is love.” – Joshua Harris