Single Is Not Equal To Ugly

Hello beautiful single ladies!

I hope you had a blast celebrating LOVE day because I sure did! I went on an eat-all-you-can sushi buffet at Ramen Yah with the bf/bff and we were so stuffed I thought I promised not to eat sushi for a month after (but of course, that promise is all gone now that I’m hungry again).

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Anyway, I hope that whether with or without a date, you had looked your best last Sunday. Not because you’re trying to impress someone or you’re on prey mode (say what?) but because you know that single is not equal to ugly. What am I trying to say here?

Well, have you ever had that notion wherein as a single lady, you just don’t care with how you look? You don’t give a care because you’re not trying to impress anybody anyway. Perhaps you have a firm confidence that you are beautiful no matter what. If you are that person, let me say that your notion is very right.

Inner Beauty > Outward Beauty

It’s true that we should never try to impress people with our looks. It’s also true that we need to believe that we are beautiful no matter what others say because that’s what God says about us. He said that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made..” and His “works are wonderful.” He also said in His Word that:

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3,4)

It means that inner beauty is still the most important thing no matter how cliche it sounds. Outward beauty can never surpass a beautiful heart especially one that is aligned with God’s.

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One becomes greatly beautiful on the outside regardless of flaws because the beauty on the inside is radiating through. And the thing is, we can never find this kind of security anywhere else except in Jesus.

Inner Beauty + Outward Beauty = Desirable

But does this mean that it’s okay to not care about our physical looks? I don’t think so. We also need to do our part. Just like what Michelle McKinney Hammond wrote on her book titled “What To Do Until Love Finds You”:

“A lady-in-waiting should always look the part whether a knight is in sight or not. After all, you never know when he’ll appear. And when  he does, spiritual plus beautiful equals highly desirable.”

I wish I can write down the whole chapter of the book here because there are so much things that I wanted you to read but since that’s obviously impossible, I urge you to grab a copy of the book and read the entire thing. I promise you won’t regret it.

So what now?

There are several ways that we can do to look after our physical appearance and it varies from one woman to another. The important thing is that we never lose the willingness to fight the good fight of personal upkeep. So, here are few of the ways I think we can do to keep our outward appearance on fleek. *wink*

EXPLORING THE WORLD OF MAKEUP. Don’t get me wrong. I still believe that natural beauty is better. But let’s be realistic and admit that makeup is almost every woman’s weapon against stressful nights, haggard days and archenemy pimples and breakouts! If you’re not into all those cosmetic stuff, I understand because I too sometimes have no idea!

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But get your basics on (read: eyebrows, blush, foundation, lipstick) and you’re good to go. Don’t be afraid to explore! Also, I bet my sisters out there would agree that MAKEUP is FUN! The key is not to overdo it and to remember that your identity is not in how good you look with it

KEEPING IT HEALTHY. Okay, I’m guilty with this one. I don’t have a healthy lifestyle and I’m not proud of it. But once in a while, I do try. Sometimes, I go to the gym to get me some exercise. I try to control my eating habits.

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I try to eat healthy. I try to sleep early…okay…I fail at that most of the time…but the point is, do something to stay healthy! Feeling good on the outside should start with feeling good on the inside and sometimes that’s all it takes. I better start living on this one too.

PAMPER & BEAUTY TIME. When was your last salon visit? When was the last time you had your nails done? When was the last time you visited the spa? I know this can be expensive but once in a while (if you have the budget), treat yourself to some pamper and beauty time. Or if you think you can DIY, why not? Don’t let the busyness and stress of the world drain out the beauty in you.

PASSION FOR FASHION. Well, not really passion. I just wrote that because it rhymes and I personally think that the way we dress up plays an important factor in our overall look. The truth about fashion is that it’s a personal thing so it should never make you look like you’re dressing up as someone else.

But try doing a wardrobe check and see if you ought to need a wardrobe update. I’m not saying throw out all your clothes and buy new ones (although you can actually do that if you have loads of money. lol). Just try experimenting or exploring according to your style and preferences. And if you need help, there are thousands of sources out there that you can turn to for reference.

Here’s a good news:

I’m going to hold a giveaway and it’s going to be a collaboration with my fashion blogger friend Katrin Lapeña of Katwinvasion and Iligan’s most trusted fashion online shop Xina Maldita by Sheena Prete. Fashion pieces are at stake so stay tuned for the official giveaway announcement.

Until then, stay beautiful ladies! ❤

 

 

 

 

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Women With Vision

It’s finally 2016! Hooray for the new year! I know many are excited by this time with what’s ahead or what’s in store. Some are probably planning already or listing down goals to achieve. Perhaps others have visions of what to do in the next 12 months.

If you are one of those people, that’s good! But if you haven’t even thought of doing such, it’s not too late yet!

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“Do I really need to have goals or visions in my life?”

I say yes! Don’t worry if you answered “no.” I used to think that way too. I’ve never been so particular about achieving goals or envisioning my future because I’m a very steady person. But now that I’m a bit older and I know bigger responsibilities will pile up soon, I realized that I need to change–from being a “just go with the flow” to “woman with vision.”

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To inspire us to start our year right, we gathered over coffee to talk about the power of vision. It says in Proverbs 29:11 (KJV), “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” 

Vision plays an important role in determining our future. Sometimes we base our decisions on it and take steps because of it. But while we have our hearts and minds set on things already, it’s essential not to forget that our vision is defined by God.

He is the one who gives us a clear picture of what He wants us to be and how He wants us to get there.  And with the right vision, we will:

  • Know our purpose in life
  • Set our focus on the goals
  • Ignite our passion
  •  Know our priorities
  • Remain on the right track
  • Overcome any obstacles or trials

It’s not easy to think about the future especially since we have no idea how things will turn out for us. It’s exciting but at the same time scary. But may we never forget that the future is bright already because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.

So ladies, get your pen and paper and start being a woman with vision!

When we have a clear vision from God, we will also see that God has given us every resource we need to accomplish the task.

If we have a vision, we will remain clear on our priorities and keep ourselves on the right track.

Vision fuels our passion, creates momentum, and keeps us focused on the goal.

We can only know our purpose when we know our God and receive His vision for us.

 

 

You Are A Tiffany Diamond

One of the many lessons I picked up from Michelle McKinney Hammond’s book “What To Do Until Love Finds You” is the analogy of a woman’s worth to a Tiffany diamond.

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I have never seen a Tiffany diamond before but I know that it’s one of the most lavish and prominent jewelry line around the world. In fact, their diamonds are so expensive that any man purchasing for their paramour would necessarily need a really fat bank account. Believe me guys, you’ll need one if you’re planning to buy a 2 carat diamond ring.

If you ask me it’s quite extravagant for just a piece of ring. But I can’t blame Tiffany’s because they are known to carry a very reputable name across the world. Not too many guys have the nerve to walk into Tiffany’s “just looking”. They respect the name, they know the quality and the price to pay. So if they’re not serious, they would usually just walk past by the window. And guess what ladies? God reminds us that we should be regarded in the same light.

His Word says, “Who can find a virtuous woman, her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).

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I honestly like the sound of that. It gives me so much security and comfort knowing that I’m not just some girl to be tossed around or to be played with. I’m not just some girl whose value is defined by what others think or say about me. I am worth more than rubies and God himself confirms that. In fact, God says we are so valuable that a man should be willing to pay for a lifetime for us, with interest! Am I hearing some “yeah” right there? Like yeah!

And because God sees us that way, we also need to play the part. We need to remember that “a well-kept woman is always mindful of her worth. She never stoops to being common and cheap. She will not be handled, examined and thrown back into anyone’s bin.”

If you have feelings of worthlessness right now, I want you to remember a very crucial thing: I don’t think God would have allowed His only begotten Son to be crucified on the cross if He didn’t think you are worth the sacrifice. Regardless of what you might have done in the past, your worth never changes. God will forgive you and He is more than willing to walk with you and work with you until you get it right.

Going back to Hammond’s book, I love this line she wrote about what God wants you to know:

“You are a Tiffany diamond, and when I’m finished with you, you will be of the highest grade. No flaws. No inclusions.”

So the next time someone tries to degrade your worth, remember the Tiffany diamond—then make a choice. Are you going to let this person dull your diamond sparkle?

The Emotera Woman

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Truth be told, I don’t know how I will clearly talk about this. I only know so little about the facts of emotions (I have yet to read Paulsen’s Emotional Purity book) but I’m pretty sure I have a lot of them because I am in fact an epitome of an emotional woman—okay, that’s exaggerated right there…I’m not, really.

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Let’s see, I cry over frustrations, I cry over movies, I cry over tragedies, I cry over little things sometimes, like seriously non-sense ones. I get so emotional about love and feelings and all the other stuff that are just so heartwarming. And can I just mention how all of those emotions heighten even more when I’m on my period? Gaaah. So emotera teh!

If a man’s struggle are his eyes, a woman’s struggle are actually her emotions. More often than not, we let our emotions lead the way in how we respond to things. That’s why if you notice, we girls tend to easily “fall in love”.

“What? That’s not true!”

Well, let me show you.

Exhibit A: He just gave you a smile (and maybe with a wink) and your heart starts skipping beats. Sparks fly and all throughout the day he is all you could ever think about. You are definitely…without a doubt…in love. It started with a smile.

Exhibit B: He just sent you one text message (probably a group message) and you’re all giddy and hopping all around, shrieking like a little baby, almost going cray-cray because of so much happiness. It started with just one text message.

Exhibit C: He starts taking you out to dinner giving you a wonderful night filled with amusing conversations and dreamy smiles. You maintain your poise but you know deep inside how much your heart is bursting with bliss you might as well just jump off the cliff. It all started with one dinner.

Okay, I can go on with this but I have a feeling I’ll need to write a book if I’m going to put all the scenarios of how emotions act like the boss sometimes. You know what, there’s nothing wrong with all of these. I mean, God created us with emotions. We are all designed to feel that way especially when such “situations” happen in our life. But here’s the thing: If we put our emotions on a pedestal all the time, it might just become the reason of our downfall a.k.a heartbreak.

Because we tend to become too emotional, we easily give our hearts the same way how easily men could hand you a box of chocolates to captivate you. And so, this is the time when we must carefully guard our hearts for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23).

When you’re caught in a very emotional and overwhelming situation, seek God first. Ask Him what he thinks of it and let Him be the boss. For He says in Isaiah 55:8-9, ” For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. He even says, “I have plans to prosper you, and not to harm you…” (Jeremiah 29:11)  

He does not want us to get hurt with our hasty and maybe even irrational decisions. He has great plans for us. We just need to claim it by faith. So if God tells you a big NO (to a guy you like), better steer away from it even though it might sting you. You’ll thank God later on how He had spared you from a bigger heartbreak.

There’s so much to talk about emotions. Until then, when emotions get in the way, be on guard with your heart. 

Hustle While You Wait

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You remember Aurora of the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty, right? I’m sure you all know her magical love story—met Prince Philip in the woods, fell in love with him, cursed into a deep sleep by Maleficence, locked away in a tower, saved by true love’s kiss and then boom—she lived happily ever after. How lucky of Princess Aurora. She only had to sleep her way through her happy ending. Ladies, how many of you would like that? If you’re raising your hand right there, then let me break the news as gently as possible: It doesn’t work that way!

One of the best lessons I learned from Joshua Harris’ book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” is to hustle while we wait. What does that even mean? Well, while reading through that page, he reminded me of how God has entrusted us with gifts and talents. But the question we need to carefully ponder on is that are we putting them to good use? Are we guarding and using them wisely or are we just sitting and lying around waiting to be swept off our feet by a prince charming preferably riding in a shining silver Volvo? Oops. I am guilty as charged!

Truthfully speaking, I used to have the “Sleeping Beauty” plague in me (and no denying, even up to now). One instance is my low interest in learning how to cook. I thought maybe I’ll just deal with cooking once I get married. Good thing I got hold of Michelle McKinney Hammond’s book “What To Do Until Love Finds You” (a book I highly recommend ya’ll single ladies read) before it was too late.  She had me changing my off beam perception with this point:

There is nothing like the thought of a wonderful meal to make a man hurry home. It’s that oasis effect. The more of an oasis you create, the more your man will enjoy spending time close to home, close to you.

Uhm. Okay. That left me speechless for some time after reflecting how I probably wouldn’t be able to bring a good meal to the table. Hammond shed me a new light: If I don’t learn while I’m still single, then when? Better hustle while I wait!

This brings us to a wrap-up that even though we are uncertain with the next step regarding our romantic relationships, we still have work to do—and I mean a lot of work! We have bad habits to change, good habits to practice, and character to build. We have to hustle!

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time.” (Ephesians 5:15-16, NKJV)

Harris wrote: “When we focus on ‘redeeming the time,’ we’ll not only make themost of each moment; we’ll also prepare ourselves for the next season of our lives. Our faithfulness in small things today earns us the right to handle bigger responsibilities down the road.”

 So yeah. This had me cooking lately while my mom is away for a month. It’s not like I have a choice. My sister and I take turns in cooking but with this arrangement, I’m using the opportunity and time to cook.image

Ladies, I guess we’ll have to shoo away our inner “Sleeping Beauty” now and put our God-given talents and gifts to good use. Let’s be productive during this season of waiting. Let’s leave the ‘sleeping’ behind and keep the beauty instead. 🙂