Hey guys! I’m taking the backseat for this post as my now fiancé, Coco, is going to be taking over. As many already know, we got engaged last February and it was such a memorable day for us. And after almost 3 months, here he is sharing to you all his thoughts.
Hey there! This is Coco and I finally proposed to Charm after 1 year and 7 months of being together. You might ask, “Isn’t that a little too fast?” Well, it looks like it but I can give you three out of the many reasons on why I finally decided to pop the question to my then girlfriend now fiancée.
Actually, there are several reasons including my love and admiration for her. But what I want to share right now are not just mere reasons but lessons I’ve learned along the way as a man pursuing a woman. For starters, proposing to Charm has a lot to do with how I see my parent’s relationship.
Growing up, I’ve seen the love and affection my parents shared with each other and for me that’s a blessing that I will always be thankful for. Maybe at times, like any other couple, they also have misunderstandings, but primarily, I have seen their relationship being strong. In fact, they just recently celebrated their 27th anniversary! For that reason, one of my “#relationshipgoals” is to have a relationship with my future wife somewhat same as theirs.
And so, packed with inspiration from my parents and of course, right timing and a confirmation from God, I knelt down on one knee to ask Charm to marry me because:
I want a relationship with a purpose. Guys, if you are now in a relationship or if you are still pursuing a girl, ask yourself this question, “Why am I dating or pursuing her?” Maybe some of you would answer “I’m just in love” or “I am bored being single” or “for curiosity’s sake.” Some might even just date to try out as many girls as they can. But real men do not do that, only immature boys do. Real men protect the dignity of women.
I’m not saying I’m clean and perfect in this area. I had my share of pursuing with a wrong heart and a wrong purpose during my boyhood. At some point, we all had the wrong intentions in the past. But the good news is that we can still change to be the real man that God wants us to be. If we’re dating already, then it means that we are no longer young boys!
2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
God wants us to be real men, and real men pursue a woman with the intent of getting married. If marriage is not the goal, then there is no sense in getting into a relationship. Real men have a relationship goal to marry and not just play games with her.
To all the ladies out there, if someone is pursuing you or you are dating someone, make sure to ask him, “Why are you pursuing me?” “What direction are we going to?” If the purpose is shallow, you know what to do.
I’ve found a wonderful woman. Men, we all want it, right? A wonderful woman to spend the rest of our lives with. But how do we really define a wonderful woman? Some may define it as Liza Soberano while some may say Pia Wurtzbach. Well, whoever they define it as, I define it as Charmaine Montes. Yihee! (haha)
Ladies, you are all wonderful (read Psalm 139:14). But nothing is more wonderful than a woman who is secured in Jesus. A wonderful woman is someone who does not define herself with what others see on her–make-up, body, clothes, etc. She does not let her past define her and she doesn’t take self-pity because she knows that she is made and loved by a King. Also, a wonderful woman for me is someone who is still secure without a man because she knows her worth.
Men, I know, I know. We hope of marrying a woman who has the physical beauty and all but honestly, that’s actually just a bonus. The main deal is when you know her heart is set for Jesus first. My encouragement is that as men, have a relationship goal of finding a wonderful woman who seeks her identity from Christ rather than from the opinion of others. Where to find her? Pray for it, bro.
We’re on the same page. Being on the same page together–sharing the same values, beliefs, goals and principles in life–was a real deal for me. I knew that if I’m going to marry someone, it would have to be someone whom I can walk with along a journey with Jesus at the center. I believe that if the couple has an intimate relationship with Jesus, all the ultimate relationship goals will just follow.
A relationship with Jesus as the foundation may sound too “churchy” but nothing beats a God-centered union. When two people both understand the love of Jesus, loving each other would be easier. I’m not saying that it’s going to be perfect but Mark 10:9 says, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Actually, without Jesus at the center of our lives, none of the ideal relationships that we could think of would be possible.